By Astrid Akash

What does it mean to be in the power of my femininity?

When I think back to my past, I never really thought about what that meant. No one taught me as a young woman which treasure hides behind this ancient knowledge. My femininity was shaped and „deformed“ by different influences and conditioning in my past. For me, femininity meant being always strong not showing weakness, moving on, not having to seek help from others, etc… I was very much stuck in a male principle; recognized and honored in our western society today. So I was programmed for performance and independence, a system that burned me out as a woman, gradually more and more without actually realizing it. I wasn’t at all anchored in myself and couldn’t connect with or feel my body. Things on the outside seemed to work well. I loved my job, had a nice apartment and enjoyed life. Still … somehow I was missing out on something.

In my past relationships I was afraid to let go, to be soft and vulnerable. From today’s point of view, I can say that I was cut off from my femininity and intuition. It was hard for me to drop into my creative sexuality and fully experience it. It was difficult to feel my body fully and open up to a friend or a partner to show who I really am.

I fell into many deep holes and questioned everything. Especially myself and my own behavior. I was fed up with being the strong one all the time. I wanted to be soft and relaxed again, in the flow, free, not so much caught in the head, chased by my thoughts on what to plan or organize next.

But how should I do that?

Today we live in a society that is overflowing with influences, noises and disturbances. We are constantly on Facebook, Instagram, or watching the latest series or news. We are no longer within ourselves, because we are constantly distracted from the outside. We are constantly busy with something, caught in our heads. This is THE killer of many women. Our flow, our feminine energy is literally killed off. We don´t dance or create anymore. We have less and less deep conversations with our friends and are completely cut off from our passion and pleasure. We walk around like machines on autopilot mode until one day, we are burned out. Empty, depressed and do not FEEL anymore.

I wanted to change my life. I wanted to change myself. So… my call was strong enough for me to find the way of the Feminine Embodiment, or … this work found me.